stevie. |
"We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are." -Anais Nin |
Adena is having us start research projects at work, which is actually kinda perfect for me. In fact, I wish she had asked me to do this a month ago, because I could really have used this kind of time and structure to get my thinking straight about grad school.
Anyway, step one is to go through my old Tumblr posts and notebooks and look for ideas I’ve had about research and about learning. Then, I’ll see what I still find interesting from there. I’ll keep you posted on what I find and how it goes.
Holy crap. I was just rooting through my Tumblr posts and found this un-published gem from May 8th, 2010 7:08pm.
Good advice, past me.
For Mother’s Day, my mom asked me to tidy the residual stuff I’ve left in her house. After sleeping in and watching a few too many episodes of Jerseylicious (I know; I have a problem.), I hoisted myself off the couch and started to take inventory. Of course, it wasn’t long before my old tricks caught up with me. Instead of tackling the growing piles of clothes or moving the boxes left clumsily in the middle of my room, I started a job that might take hours, but whose results no one but I would notice: I opened one of the boxes, full of school papers from high school and college in no particular order, and started to comb through it.
I’ve always been interested in teachers’ comments, but while I was in school, it was hard not to see the grade as the bottom line. I got As and was satisfied. Upon looking at them again, without a GPA on the line, the common message struck me much more as a criticism than it had before:
Your points are strong, but you need to follow through on the analysis.
After I graduated, when I told my thesis advisor that I was interested in editing, she gave me the same double-edged feeback. She told me that although many academics are more concerned with data than writing, I can help them because I have the opposite issue: I lack data and conclusions, but I always remember that I’m telling a story.
I feel like this goes on in all aspects of my life. I get lost in the details and forget about results. I spend time trying to come up with an efficient system and reasonable goals, and I try to make meaningful connections between the things I attempt, but for what? I haven’t done any research or started my compost pile or blogged about my cake-scapades. The small things I have accomplished recently (moving out of my parents’ house, studying for the GRE, posting more regularly) are motivated by the joy I get from doing things with other people, but without a partner, each of those endeavors would have fallen easily from my attention.
Of course, I’m thinking right about now, I’m so neurotic. I should stop publicly over-analyzing myself. Nobody cares. Luckily, I just interrupted myself with the idea that this may speak to a larger cultural problem.
Members of the millennial generation (Google it. I couldn’t find anything worth linking to at the moment.), born roughly between 1983 and 2003 (that’s us!), grew up in an America that was very pro-child, pro-teamwork, and pro-structure. Kids tended to spend their days in supervised activities and receive constant positive reinforcement from parents and teachers. Is it that surprising that I feel most accomplished when I schedule certain activities on certain days of the week and when I have someone to high-five once we’ve put in our time and we’re ready to go home? No. What scares me is the idea that I can’t or won’t accomplish anything by myself or for myself. The possibility of such an accomplishment is only getting slimmer and less convenient. We (or at least I) live in a world of sharing, liking, commenting, and reblogging. Satisfaction comes less from completing a project and more from showing the world a tiny piece of a snapshot of what you’re doing, thinking, or, well, being… and getting confirmation in your inbox that someone noticed. Continuing beyond that takes a different kind of motivation.
In the spirit of following through, I challenge you (and me!) to look past these lower thresholds of accomplishment. So this little box is impeccably organized. So you made the deadline and got the A. So you stimulated some fun Facebook discussion among your friends. I really believe that human beings act in order to make their worlds and their lives better, and though these small milestones do make us feel better, imagine what would get done if we told ourselves that that wasn’t better enough. Maybe we would move beyond those external motivators and really be inspired to accomplish something worth noticing.
As some of you know, I’m working on an application to the Ph.D program in School Psychology here at Berkeley. (*fingers crossed*)
However, I just came across this tumblr:
I am a Ph.D. candidate in History at the University of Illinois. I’m currently writing a dissertation about the role of bookmobiles in designing, building, and contesting communities in the United States since turn of the twentieth century.
Check here for images, videos, links, and random thoughts about information on the move.
How my heart leapt at the phrase “contesting communities”! I LOVE this stuff. I have to remember to think about space and culture, about seeing patterns and breaking them, even as a school psychologist.
Background info: Philip Zimbardo is the psychologist responsible for the famous Stanford Prison Experiment (1971). He took 24 student volunteers and randomly assigned each one to be a “prisoner” or a “guard.” The guards got uniforms, the prisoners got numbers, and they were all set up in a fairly realistic “prison” in a basement at Stanford. Guards were instructed only to keep order in the prison. Zimbardo watched as the “guards,” though not allowed to hurt their prisoners physically, quickly embraced their roles as figures of authority. These otherwise nice, normal boys began verbally and psychologically abusing their “prisoners,” and the abuse became so real that the simulation had to be cut short after only six days.
Zimbardo was since asked to testify on behalf of a guard caught brutalizing prisoners at Abu Ghraib, which prompted him to revisit the study that showed the world that certain systems of power can cause otherwise good people to do bad things.
I have mixed feelings about Zimbardo. I think that he’s a good researcher, but some things about him rub me the wrong way. I had the opportunity to see him speak at Ohlone the other day, and these were my impressions:
The Bad:
The Good:
On school psychologists.
Bardon, J. (1987) “The Translation of Research Into Practice in School Psychology”, School Psychology Review 16(3).
Context: “In graduate school [school psychologists] are taught that science is important as the basis for practice. They are told that they are scientist-practitioners… Yet, only a few ever do any research. They seldom cite research in their reports or when talking to teachers and parents. But when these school psychologists get together at meetings, they act as though research is the basis of their professional behavior. They tell each other that it is. They like to attend meetings about research. It makes them feel good about themselves. Yes, they claim that they are research-based, but, frankly it is difficult to observe this aspect of claim in their actual working behaviors.”
I like working at ATDP because it allows me to combine my interests. I have always been interested in the cultural aspect of technology, which has only become more riveting in recent years, and I discovered in college that I deeply enjoy teaching writing. I’ve been out of college for a year, and I find myself in a perfect environment for developing my academic curiosities before seriously thinking about grad school.
While talking with Nina the other day, I mentioned that I’d really like to investigate the ways in which engaging with Web 2.0 interacts with the ways kids learn to read and write. People seem to accept that there is an interaction between social networking and learning. Some embrace the power of social networking tools and expect those tools to facilitate a full-bodied learning experience; others worry that abbreviated online interactions will sabotage depth and art in language. I’m really not concerned with arguing with any of these people. The way we interact with one another and with the world is changing, and using research to pat either of these sects on the back and send its supporters on their way seems like more of a political move than a practical one.
I’m interested in the following questions:
I know these questions are super vague at the moment. I have yet to do more extensive reading to see what’s out there. I need to find out which cultural perceptions dominate and what holes there’ve been in formal research. I like the idea of this project because it’s satisfyingly relevant and interdisciplinary. I can talk to Dean about what it takes to foster intelligence, creativity, and change, I can talk to Carolyn about trends in America’s relationship with technology, and I can talk to the great pool of people at ATDP about what it really takes to teach kids effectively. I’m even thinking that School Psych might be where I want to end up for grad school.
FINALLY HIKED MISSION PEAK…after 10 years of living in Fremont
Oh gawd. X_X
Pink princess dress.
After some suggestions from Finland, I changed a couple things.
This whole application process and worrying about letters of rec is giving me a headache. So I’m going to the market to get some self-rising flour,...